Monday, July 30, 2007
'Because si mami.'
I should know better.
He's added talcum powder, vapor rub, food, toys, writing utensils, you name it to the fish tank.
Nick swears the fish speak to him.
I didn't do any drugs while I was pregnant kid, so knock it off!
Anyway, I should have known better than to buy a $12 fish. Ah, the sunkissed, red nosed angel (not species just a description of what it looked like), he/she was a beaut...and lasted all of 12 hours in the tank.
When I went to feed the fish this morning, no angel.
Damn that motherfu**ing limpiador! He's supposed to eat sh*t not fish!
(Enter Nick stage left)
"Que haces?"
"Buscando el angelito"
"Esta ahi"
I turn my head and look at him.
"Adonde?"
"Ahi" (as he points to his toy box)
{Here's where the super sleuth, CSI mom eye comes in}
I scan the room and notice the chair out of place. It's almost where it should be but not quite. What's that? A couple of, what look like, water drops on the arm of the chair. A red Elefun net on the floor. Upon further observation (I touched it), I notice the net is wet.
Son of a bi*ch this kid!
"You took him out? Why did you do that?
(I love how my angry language is English lol)
"but, because si mami."
My grandmother always said 'Hija eres y madre seras. Lo que tu le hicistes, ellos te haran."
Translation: Get ready honey 'cuz payback's a bi*ch!
I paid $1 for every hour I owned that fish...
Lesson learned: No more $12 fish. BONUS: Add a second lock to the tank!
Friday, July 27, 2007
"Mami, mi pito esta duro."
With the advent of "learning Nick," I'm assured to be faced with a cornucopia of random questions and unfamiliar situations however I didn't expect this bomb.
This morning, as I rubbed my eyes in unlit surroundings, I was greeted by Nick who was holding open his underoos, staring in and requesting that I do the same.
"Mira lo que paso. Mami, mi pito esta duro. Porque?" (with a tilted headed, questioning glance and wispy hair covering his eyes)
Holding back what would wave been a fabulous bout of laughter I replied "Es normal. You just need to take a shower."
"Estoy sucio?"
(Fighting back additional laughter) "No. No. Pero vamos a banarte."
And off he went.
Here's the funny in parenting right? But alas, not having a penis of my own, I am unfamiliar with the circumstances and was truly not prepared for this question.
What the hell?
He is 3, almost 4, going on 30 sometimes- are penis questions supposed to be coming this early?
And how am I supposed to keep a straight face for that?
This morning, as I rubbed my eyes in unlit surroundings, I was greeted by Nick who was holding open his underoos, staring in and requesting that I do the same.
"Mira lo que paso. Mami, mi pito esta duro. Porque?" (with a tilted headed, questioning glance and wispy hair covering his eyes)
Holding back what would wave been a fabulous bout of laughter I replied "Es normal. You just need to take a shower."
"Estoy sucio?"
(Fighting back additional laughter) "No. No. Pero vamos a banarte."
And off he went.
Here's the funny in parenting right? But alas, not having a penis of my own, I am unfamiliar with the circumstances and was truly not prepared for this question.
What the hell?
He is 3, almost 4, going on 30 sometimes- are penis questions supposed to be coming this early?
And how am I supposed to keep a straight face for that?
Labels:
funny,
kid questions,
Nick Casanueva,
penis,
pito,
single mom,
single parenthood
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